For those of us, who have ever felt the injustice of family court rulings in which we, as parents have lost our children due to bias (perceived or otherwise), we alone know the harsh realities of these decisions. They cause unprecedented pain and torment that only a parent can know.
Further, the effects on our children can be devastating when this occurs.
We expect and rightly so, that these judges in the family court system will conduct themselves in a manner befitting this role. This means that there is (or least should be) a high level of expectation in which they will make their rulings in a fair, compassionate and equal manner that benefits all parties. This includes mothers, fathers and especially, the children involved.
However, this is not always the case. Far too often, judges are seen as administering their rulings in a very heavy handed way, under the cover of family law. Sometimes, they choose to ignore pertinent evidence that can affect the outcome of parental responsibilities and we have to question, why this happens at the frequency it does.
In certain instances, a mother in her desperate bid to retain her children may use false accusations against the father alleging some form of abuse. When this happens, a judge has the duty to investigate these claims and decide if they have merit or not. Additionally, they may invoke the sympathy card in the attempt to appeal to the judge’s emotional psyche.
On the other side of the coin, a father may decide to use his financial resources to place the mother in a less than favorable light within the eyes of the family court. They may hire the best attorney possible that specializes in father’s rights law or otherwise outspend the mother. Additionally, their money may be spent in finding and securing a child phycologist that will give testimony that is favorable to the father and not the mother.
Lastly, we need to focus in on the judges themselves. It is no secret that some judges have certain prejudices and will either rule with consistency towards the mother or father, depending on where their views and beliefs lay. Other times, it could have nothing to do with this type of mentality nor, even the financial resources that the father has or the mother’s false accusations.
Instead, it could be that they have a disdainful view of one of the attorneys representing the parents and will rule against them for this reason. Other times, it may be due to the number of cases they have on their docket and the need to push through as many as these as they can and as fast as possible. Thus, not being able to give ample time to decide the merits of the individual case.
Lastly, I think that some of these judges have, over time become desensitized to the very nature of family law. Often, they are placed in front of high conflict relationships and witness the parents need to hurt or destroy their former partner as they fight for custody. Certainly, after seeing and hearing these types of court room situations, any judge will tend to mentally and emotionally detach themselves.
I am not excusing this reasoning but, it does happen just as it does for our law enforcement personnel or members of our military. After, witnessing terrible things for far too long, it is only natural that the effects can and will take hold and cause someone to become desensitized. When this happens, there needs to be mechanisms in place to combat and ensure that these individuals are not in a position that will allow them to make negative life changing decisions within the family courts.
In the end, we expect that the only true decision that needs to be made is one that truly is in the best interests of our children and must be done in the truest fashion possible. If, a judge is incapable of rending such a decision then, he or she must be recused from the case and parents be allowed another judge that can rule appropriately.
By David Shubert
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