How dare you leave me (i.e., narcissistic injury). How dare you not appreciate my wonderfulness (i.e., narcissistic grandiosity). You’ll be sorry (narcissistic rage). I’ll hurt you using what you most love in all the world, the love you share with your children

Parental Alienation as an Expression of Domestic Violence:
The Narcissistic Personality in High-Conflict Divorce
C.A. Childress, Psy.D. (2011)

Domestic violence is embedded in a broader interpersonal context of control, power, and domination.

These same interpersonal features of control, power, and domination also find expression within the parental alienation process through the narcissistically organized psychopathology of the alienating parent (involving a “mixed” Personality Disorder presentation that also includes additional Borderline and Paranoid features). Based on the clinical presentation of parental alienation processes, it is my view that parental alienation represents a variant of domestic violence, but instead of using fists to batter the targeted victim, the abuser in parental alienation uses the child; uses the love that the targeted parent shares with the child, to inflict intense and severe suffering on the targeted-victimized spouse-as-parent.The Narcissistic Alienating Parent:

“How dare you leave me (i.e., narcissistic injury). How dare you not appreciate my wonderfulness (i.e., narcissistic grandiosity). You’ll be sorry (narcissistic rage). I’ll hurt you using what you most love in all the world, the love you share with your children.”

“I won’t be the abandoned one (i.e., Borderline Personality Disorder process; a primal fear of abandonment), you’ll be the abandoned one (the projected fear of abandonment). You’ll be abandoned by your own children — you’ll suffer — but they will never abandon me. You’ll be sorry you left me. You’ll suffer. And you deserve to suffer (narcissistic injury and rage) because you didn’t appreciate my wonderfulness (narcissistic grandiosity).”

The lack of empathy of the alienating-pathological parent (lack of empathy is a key symptom feature of narcissism – criterion 7) allows that parent to use the child as a weapon (exploitation of others in the service of one’s own needs is another key symptom feature of narcissism- criterion 6) to emotionally batter the targeted-victimized parent in the most brutal of ways, by taking away the love shared between the targeted parent and the child, and – most heart wrenching of all – doing so by inducing the child (control-power-domination) to enact the rejection-abandonment toward the other parent; the targeted-victimized spouse.

The narcissist feels no empathy for the targeted parent, but even more importantly, the narcissistic parent feels no empathy for the child. Empathy is an impossibility for the narcissist. The narcissist’s fundamental and inherent lack of empathy is the key feature that allows the narcissistic parent to “exploit” the child as a weapon of revenge and retaliation.

Control, power, domination… and cruelty… are the hallmarks of the alienation process; as the alienating parent uses a “weapon” that inflicts far more brutal suffering on the spouse than the mere physical pain of a beating; a lifetime of irrevocable pain and loss, inflicted on the victimized spouse-as-parent by the beloved child.

The parental alienation process is most definitely a variant of domestic violence, a manifestation of the narcissistically organized psychopathology of the alienating parent.

Source: dead llink 404 resource not found error
http://sisters-in-solidarity.com/blog/2011/10/16/parental-alienation-2/#more-923