They had us go through all these classes for 2 years

I don't have a case they closed mine but before they did they took my babies for good. They placed my 4 year old son with his father which let me add he has never had nothing to do with him an he was abusive to me an him when we lived with them. They placed my daughter in foster care. But let me let every know that the reason they took them were just allegations say in we were beating our children my daughter was 7 Mons an son 2 at the time. They had us go through all these classes for 2 years an them say oh u can't have them back just because the foster parent that had my Lil girl was beggin for them to let her adopt her. This whole thing has been very hard on me an my husband. It has put a strain on our marriage an everything. So I'm asking for me advise of how to handle all this. I worry everyday how my daughter will feel bout me when she gets older will she hate me when she gets older