I can't afford a lawyer though, and would love to go back to court

Hey guys. I've had a lot of stress lately just reading what a lot of fathers are going through on this page and I feel for them, cause I'm in the same boat. I love my 2 daughters dearly, and she limits my time with them.

My ex and I split just over a year ago. In the months leading up to our seperation, she was dealing heavily with depression and threatened suicide twice. She was constantly seeing psychiatrist and was enrolled at the Pain Clinic. About 2 months before she moved out, she told me she was checking into a Psyche Ward to get the help she needed. She abandoned my children and I for 6 days, and after the fact, I found out she was having an affair on me with some dude over 400 km away. She wasn't actually in the Psyche Ward. 2 months later, she packs up her shit and moves herself and our children 400 km away from me. Would I have known at the time she was cheating on me, I would have gone to court and put a stop to her moving the kids so far away but it was pretty mutual at the time and I was an emotional mess, and definitely didn't make the right call. She took me to court 10 months later, and she's now the primary caregiver of the children, with joint custody.

I have visitation every other weekend from 6PM Friday to 6PM Sunday, with joint decision making.

Recently, I found a job around the area where she's living and decided to move to the same town where she moved my children to, in the same neighborhood as my kids. I wanted to be as close as possible to the kids to make things easier on all of us and to be able to spend more time with them. My new job schedule is 6 days a week, so I lose visitation every Friday, but I had no choice but to take this job cause I was financially crippled when she took me to court in the midst of 2 major surgeries, and 3 months out of work because of it. I get a 4 day long weekend every month and most of the time, it doesn't land on my weekend with the kids, but I let her know that I'm off work for 4 days and if she's got no plans,

I'd be more than willing to take the kids off her hands to make up for all the lost visitation days. Most of the time, she tells me she has plans, and It just so happened the one weekend she denied me the kids because of plans, her father called me to tell me his daughter had dropped the kids off at his house for a sleepover.

I understand it's her court ordered weekend with the kids, but I don't understand if I'm willing and able to take the kids, she'd rather drop them off at her parents house. She's playing some cruel games with me and I've just about had enough of her bullshit. I can't afford a lawyer though, and would love to go back to court. She allowed me more time with my kids when I lived 400 km away than now that I live only blocks away. My kids rarely ever call me unless I text her asking to talk to the kids, and she does not communicate with me regarding the kids health or education. In fact, conflict is so high, I can't talk to her on the phone cause every time I've gotten yelled and screamed at and she hangs up. She's honestly psychotic, and I feel for my children if they're in the background listening in on the way she tells at me. We communicate through text message only, and it's for the best. I've asked her repeatedly if she's willing to mediate to improve our relationship for the best interests of our kids and I get denied. Actually, she gave me one opportunity to mediate if her father could attend.

I turned it down. Her father messaged me stating that if I take her to court, he'd be there 100% to support her. He has more money than I do, so it's a little intimidating. Just recently, I messaged her asking her to attend post seperation family therapy, or counceling with me, because it would certainly benefit the kids, along with her and I, and she's completely ignored my request. Where do I go from here, cause I'm feeling defeated..