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Monitor SHAWN CULLEN THE MAN WITH THE SPECIAL GIFT FOR PROVING WHAT SYSTEM PERSONS CONCEAL AND THINK 2020-2021 updates & replies. Email:

Could you please make an anon post for me? We are looking for help. Ontario - Partner has not seen or talked to his children since March. They were in an access centre until their next court date because the judge wanted to have his parenting skills evaluated as he has had his children withheld f... access page ...

Could you please make an anon post for me? We are looking for help. Ontario - Partner has not seen or talked to his children since March. They were in an access centre until their next court date because the judge wanted to have his parenting skills evaluated as he has had his children withheld from him for over a year. OCL involved, and report disputed, with lawyers help, because it was very one sided in investigation. Then Covid happened. The centre closed. The centre then offered to set up video and phone access for participants until in person access could resume, but the mother refused to participate. Months have gone by and my partner has no idea how his children are. He paid his lawyer another $1500 retainer on Friday and on Monday contacted her to ask her to file an emergency motion...she flat out refused. She first said she was "too busy" to do it that week but would do it next week. Then she said she would not file an ex parte because it was "common courtesy" to let the other lawyer know what they were doing. What?!? Partner said "I need you to do this, I have not seen or hear from my children in months!". Then the lawyer played the "you're bullying me and I don't think this relationship will work" card. HIGHLY unprofessional IMO, especially after taking another retainer only to tell your client "you're too busy". Anyway, my partner fired her. Has anyone here had to file an Ex Parte motion on their own and could offer some guidance? We're looking for a new lawyer in the meantime but all the good ones are tied up or out of financial grasp.Thank you.

Contact Location: Kitchener

               

Monitor Father Rights Canada / Partner has not seen or talked to his children since March updates & replies. Email:

Hello, I am new to the group and have questions regarding claiming a child on income taxes, in our separation agreement it states that I am to claim my daughter(only child) on even numbered years and my ex to claim on Uneven numbered years.



I tried claiming her for the first ... access page ...

Hello, I am new to the group and have questions regarding claiming a child on income taxes, in our separation agreement it states that I am to claim my daughter(only child) on even numbered years and my ex to claim on Uneven numbered years.



I tried claiming her for the first time since separated last year, but she also claimed her, triggering a red flag at the CRA. I was audited and had to pay back my tax refund, because there is a tax law that states that one cannot claim a child if he/she paid child support for said child.



I have my daughter 50% of the time, provide a residence and all necessities of life and leisure and more. I pay 720$ a month in child support because my ex has a low income due to refusing to work (other than some under the table work). Being able to claim my child on income taxes every second year would be a fair way to get some of my money back for my hard work.



I am wondering how many other are affected by this law and if there is anything we can do to try and change it.

Also being able to claim the child support would be the same kind of fair treatment.

Any info, ressource, or alternatives would be appreciated.

Thank you.

Contact Location: Ontario Canada

               

Monitor Father Rights Canada / regarding claiming a child on income taxes updates & replies. Email:

               

Monitor Alienated and Indoctrinated child tells loving devoted Father to F off - Audio linked updates & replies. Email:

Hi there,

we have an appointment with our local MLA at the end of the month. I'm hoping you can put this out there:

I am looking for letters from other fathers who have had to deal specifically with fraud, forgery, perjury, false allegations etc, that have some sort of pr... access page ...

Hi there,

we have an appointment with our local MLA at the end of the month. I'm hoping you can put this out there:

I am looking for letters from other fathers who have had to deal specifically with fraud, forgery, perjury, false allegations etc, that have some sort of proof they are willing to share (this will be kept confidential with the MLA). If interested, they can email fixourfamilycourt@gmail.com. We are located in BC, so BC specific cases would be best, but having some examples from other provinces will help also.

I have some case studies that I will use as well as our own, but suggestions of other cases that are in CANLII are welcome, as are articles etc, dealing with the previous issues mentioned.

I will note that in general, the family court system is flawed and deeply biased. I'm hoping that we can start by chipping away at the worst of the worst first, and go forward from there.

Contact Location: Canada

               

Monitor Father Rights Canada / The family court system is flawed and deeply biased updates & replies. Email:

Hi,



I reside in Ontario however this applies to everyone across the country. There's been plenty of articles and stories about family court and it's flawed nature. My question is, how do we push this agenda? What do we need and where do we start to get this changed or look... access page ...

Hi,



I reside in Ontario however this applies to everyone across the country. There's been plenty of articles and stories about family court and it's flawed nature. My question is, how do we push this agenda? What do we need and where do we start to get this changed or looked at?



We cannot just write MPs and MPPs and hope they do something. Protesting isn't enough. Is there councils to attend? A lawsuit to try? Like anything!

Contact Location: Canada

               

Monitor Father Rights Canada / What do we need and where do we start to get this changed or looked at? updates & replies. Email:

Sadly my ex used the system to keep me away from my daughter lies after lies. Three years in out of court. I’m out of jail all over heat say lies

When the rcmp was asked on stand if they ever gathered the so called evidence against me and said no that’s not there job. They ... access page ...

Sadly my ex used the system to keep me away from my daughter lies after lies. Three years in out of court. I’m out of jail all over heat say lies

When the rcmp was asked on stand if they ever gathered the so called evidence against me and said no that’s not there job. They went off hear say and recommended charges because it’s family law....
That was one of two officers on stand

Crown flat out says on transcript that they are there for the truth and justice. If that was the case then why was crown pressuring my lawyer to get me to take a plea deal I did that by mistake and should have taken it to trial I would have won

Crown only wants convictions
RCMP don’t do there job they’re there for enforcing the criminal
Politicians and to bully the less fortunate

Police shouldn’t be wearing guns and armed to the hill when the civilians don’t carry weapons. Why are they???

So that said.
The rcmp ruined my life over there incompetence

The so called justice system at my ex’s game of bs. Was successful in driving a wedge between my daughter and I.
My daughter in court papers has been brain washed by my ex

I was so outraged and saddened. I could have kept fighting but damage is done majorly and some how the law says it’s children first.

If so then why was it in court my ex was told when she kept trying to get a no contact order was told she should never of been granted one in the very very first place

Yes I may of disobeyed that court order giving her more teeth to screw me and my daughter over ...

But I never once did harm to her or my daughter or even directed any sort of violence (not like she did on me)
I sent a etransfer of money support after she my ex called me up asking for $$ for school supplies

I sent a text asking if they wanted some bear meat because
My daughter for some reason LOVES the taste of bear meat ...

So aparantly I’m a bad ass mofo and was behind bars because of this ...
Almost three months only reason that little
Would of been longer. But me not knowing or seeing or having my eyes opened from this event experience I took a plea deal that I shouldn’t have of because I didn’t do no harm and what I had done was t in harm and wasn’t warranted

But crown and the police only wants convictions to make it seem they are doing justice

While I was in and behind bars. Sadly my case wasn’t the only one

As I was told from the bulls the prison guards 88% of people behind bars are innocent and shouldn’t be hear (this gets divided into harmless crimes to violent and I don’t have that statistics but some one will know how to actually get a hold of it )
10% are guilty and should Be behind bars

She also said a majority of family k files some are violent some are not and a some percentage are like mine where the ex spouse uses the system to drive a wedge between and alienate

Narcissistic sociopath
I had learnt lots while in there forcing my eyes open to how things actually are

In and out of the courts criminal and family both tied together because one was granted then when told it should never of been granted in the first place
And that then gave teeth to criminal
The law and justice system
As I had said in court to the judge and crown you want to convict me then you better take a look at the whole picture because you going off hear say is bs

I was eventually found not guilty and to be the actual victim and a victim of a person abusing the system for there person gains

Yet my life ruined
Money out my pocket

RCMP laugh still working. Do as they please crown still committing crimes by imprisoning innocent and not getting full story because rcmp don’t investigate

I lose my daughter and loose those memories that will NEVER. Ever be returned or built

               

Monitor Re: Father Rights Canada / I am wondering.. considering at the end of EVERY ORDER it states... updates & replies. Email:

King John exploited and abused the traditional sources of revenue. Desperate for money to wage wars in defence of his estates, John demanded unprecedented amounts in ‘scutage’, or money from his tenants in lieu of providing knights for the king’s service. He was intemperate and ... access page ...

King John exploited and abused the traditional sources of revenue. Desperate for money to wage wars in defence of his estates, John demanded unprecedented amounts in ‘scutage’, or money from his tenants in lieu of providing knights for the king’s service. He was intemperate and at times cruel in his manner of enforcing his rights from his land-holders and from the church, and unjust in his treatment of people at all levels. There was no redress against the absolute power of the king. Barons who resisted paying the excessive levies had their lands confiscated and members of their families taken as hostages. By 1215 rebel barons outnumbered those loyal to John. They united and marched on London from the north and captured the Tower of London on 17 May 1215. http://www.magnacarta.senate.gov.au/index.php/origins/

FAMILY LAW ACT 1975 – SECT 4AB Definition of family violence etc. (1) For the purposes of this Act, family violence means violent, threatening or other behaviour by a person that coerces or controls a member of the person’s family (the family member ), or causes the family member to be fearful. (i) preventing the family member from making or keeping connections with his or her family, friends or culture; or (j) unlawfully depriving the family member, or any member of the family member‘s family, of his or her liberty.

“Destroy the family, you destroy the country.” Vladimir Ilyich Lenin Who in their right mind would in a constitutional monarchy create a secret star camber court then make our sworn enemies, Marxist feminist chief justice, that has clear intentions breaking honest hard working real people, the back bone of our society. We have got to target these traffickers and criminals who are managing promoting and selling this human trade, trafficking in human suffering, we are determined to put an end to this vile trade, trade in human life, trade in human death.

We have got to put the blame squarely at the appalling human traffickers, we now need to do everything we can using a comprehensive approach.

These traffickers are utterly ruthless, they just want the cash, once they have the cash the deal is done. Every Dad needs to join a political party today and lobby for justice. http://fathersaustralia.com/wp/ Quotes by Vladimir Lenin

When one makes a Revolution, one cannot mark time; one must always go forward — or go back. He who now talks about the freedom of the press goes backward, and halts our headlong course towards Socialism. Literature must become party literature. Down with unpartisan litterateurs! Down with the superman of literature! Literature must become a part of the general cause of the proletariat. http://www.austlii.edu.au/.../consol.../fla1975114/s121.html  [404 Error]

The real issue is no moral compass especially from our civil service employee’s, illegitimate authority, is a clear indicator of APD [sociopaths and psychopaths]. 1% of the population have Antisocial Personality Disorder APD [ref DSM5] that is 230,000 psychopaths in Australia alone. Worldwide 70,000,000. APD [psychopaths] is why we are always at war, they are genetically flawed, disposing them to be criminally and morally insane. So where are they all, Terrorist States, ISIS, socialist states, civil services? Seems psychopaths gravitate to positions of power it is their nature.

Australia is experiencing a massive constitutional crisis, 21 Billion PA wasted on fraudulent socialist services corruption in family court alone, 21 deaths per week by way of suicide, where is the public outcry here?, Our courts and civil services are awash with fraud and political corruption, especially here in Queensland.

I Have been in family court for 5 years on proven via confession of false allegations of DV, against fraudulent socialist services corruption by Legal Aid Queensland they still won’t let my 5yo son see me, despite court orders, anyone like to try explaining that?

Please stop funding legal aid Queensland socialist corruption and their feminists agenda. Please ask the [our] government.

               

Monitor Please stop funding legal aid Queensland socialist corruption updates & replies. Email:

I was a crown ward. My kids were made crown wards. CAS used my youth file against me to assure this, most of which was speculative bullshit (and worse things it would take a whole novel to explain). If I'd killed someone at thirteen, the criminal courts couldn't have used it against me at 28, but CA... access page ...

I was a crown ward. My kids were made crown wards. CAS used my youth file against me to assure this, most of which was speculative bullshit (and worse things it would take a whole novel to explain). If I'd killed someone at thirteen, the criminal courts couldn't have used it against me at 28, but CAS are accountable to no-one but themselves. I was stripped of my rights for having PTSD, mostly as a youth in their system, because of the flaws in their system. The worker I had as a kid says CAS gets increased funding based on how many successful adoptions they facilitate. She says if a white kid falls into their grasp, and does not have FAS, good luck getting her back, even if you marry a millionaire and receive the Giller prize. She doesn't work there anymore. The 60's scoop was horrific, and I'm glad politicians are posturing apologetically toward it I guess. It's a start. But even though it isn't by nuns and priests, families continue to be shattered, across the spectrum of race, but consistently within isolated and low income communities. Like everything in history, they just call it something different now. MAKE CAS ACCOUNTABLE to someone outside themselves. Make them prove suspicions, like in "real" court, where people just get time, and not literal life without their kids. Make them accept psychological assessments from people not on their own payroll. Make them stop defaming parents to meet quotas in kid-trafficking. Forgive me for that last blurt, and thank you for reading my rant.

               

Monitor Re: Childrens Aid Societies unethical morally corrupt activities and practices updates & replies. Email:

Is there any legislation in the works regarding the Child Support Guidelines? The system is very flawed and one sided. It needs to be adjusted on an individual basis and not be lumped in with the stereotype of what it was originally meant for.

Contact Location: Kingston

access page ...

Is there any legislation in the works regarding the Child Support Guidelines? The system is very flawed and one sided. It needs to be adjusted on an individual basis and not be lumped in with the stereotype of what it was originally meant for.

Contact Location: Kingston

               

Monitor Father Rights Canada / is there any legislation in the works regarding the Child Support Guidelines updates & replies. Email:

Hi! I need some sort of help/advice ASAP!



Backstory: my fiancé found out his ex (yeas ago) was pregnant after she broke up with him, he confronted her and asked if the baby was his and she said no and threatened him with the police if he asked or spoke to her again. Flash for... access page ...

Hi! I need some sort of help/advice ASAP!



Backstory: my fiancé found out his ex (yeas ago) was pregnant after she broke up with him, he confronted her and asked if the baby was his and she said no and threatened him with the police if he asked or spoke to her again. Flash forward two years DNA test confirmed the child was/is his.



He paid an amount of child support they agreed to themselves but she never let him see the boy. We live in Ottawa, they live in BC. He stopped paying support to seek a lawyer that would even consider touching a BC case..we found one.



Judge ruled today that my fiancé must pay $900 a month is child support, and gets NO RIGHTS to his son ?? how’s is that even possible?! It feels like kiddnapping.



We can’t afford the amount with our debt and my kids..and the fact we don’t have even phone calls is terrible! We are literally sick to our stomachs over this! We are about to get married at which point he would be legally responsible for me and my daughter, would that help reduce the payment at least?!



Apparently the only way we can contest it is to go to trial in BC which can take years to settle.. meaning we would lose our jobs and uproot our family.. I literally have no idea what to do. I was so excited for my stepson.. my heart breaks for my fiancé

Contact Location: Ontario Canada

               

Monitor Father Rights Canada / Paying support but no rights updates & replies. Email:

Well my ex has decided she would lie on child support and had back payments garnished from my severenths package leaving me broke. We had agreements that my car was in lew of support for 6 month plus i was at her place paying for awhile and had paid for them and me to travel to visit grandparent. I ... access page ...

Well my ex has decided she would lie on child support and had back payments garnished from my severenths package leaving me broke. We had agreements that my car was in lew of support for 6 month plus i was at her place paying for awhile and had paid for them and me to travel to visit grandparent. I had him dec 2017 paid for trip for xmass. Now by her lies i had to pay support. Im flat broke and dont know how to convince family maintenance that amount isnt correct at all..

Contact Location: Canada . BC

               

Monitor Father Rights Canada / Father frustrated at ex's costly lies updates & replies. Email:

Protesting the Gender Inequality: Paying 50% of Child Support



We the fathers are suffering from alienation from our children and still paying child support which is also bias and too much.

We can't claim our children while filing tax return, we don;t receive any Chi... access page ...

Protesting the Gender Inequality: Paying 50% of Child Support



We the fathers are suffering from alienation from our children and still paying child support which is also bias and too much.

We can't claim our children while filing tax return, we don;t receive any Child Tax Benefit. Our behavior in courts are seen as abusive which has severe implication for child custody; however the behavior of mother is seen as only past conduct which has no bearing upon custody. Mother is also by default biased for sole custody. The family court is the flagrant violation of Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedom:



Equality Rights

Marginal note:Equality before and under law and equal protection and benefit of law

15. (1) Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.



As a protest of this inequality and bias treatment, we father should protest unitedly in all the provinces together. As a protest, I am proposing the below:



In a certain month as decided by the group, we will pay 50% of child support in one month. In the next month, we will pay the arrears.



I would like to hear the opinion of fathers who pay child support. We should do something that will being attention to everybody.

Contact Location: Hamilton

               

Monitor Father Rights Canada /We the fathers are suffering from alienation from our children. updates & replies. Email:

               

Monitor Warning about James Daniel Hogan from Alberta to all advocacies in Canada updates & replies. Email:

From my past experiences of dealing with the C.A.S, over many years, they were completely biased towards me. I came to the conclusion that they were more or less a huge support group for manipulative parents. It boggles my mind as to how inept they were when dealing with master manipulators even ... access page ...

From my past experiences of dealing with the C.A.S, over many years, they were completely biased towards me. I came to the conclusion that they were more or less a huge support group for manipulative parents. It boggles my mind as to how inept they were when dealing with master manipulators even though there were many "red flags" being quite evident with these manipulative types.

               

Monitor Re: Childrens Aid Societies deliberately maliciously litigate against families updates & replies. Email:

               

Monitor Re Warning about James Daniel Hogan from Alberta to all advocacies in Canada updates & replies. Email:

Hi is it a conflict of interest if a social worker Involved in your file is related to your ex? I'm on my second round of custody bullshit, first time was with my first child's mother who is cousins with the worker mentioned, my two exes have spoken about joining together to blind side me because 2 ... access page ...

Hi is it a conflict of interest if a social worker Involved in your file is related to your ex? I'm on my second round of custody bullshit, first time was with my first child's mother who is cousins with the worker mentioned, my two exes have spoken about joining together to blind side me because 2 against one makes it easy for them, I recently got ahold of the mcfd file and it's full of false reports that this social worker took while I was at work. I'm pretty sure this social workers involvement is a conflict and she didn't think I would find out because the SW is married and has a different last name, I've also asked another social worker for an administrative review on two separate occasions and have been denied both times, of the terrace bc mcfd flat out refused to have a review done and told me she doesn't have to, (maiden name is ) is the sw that is my exes cousin. Terrace bc mcfd is corrupt, sat there listening to my concerns multiple times regarding my first child and her mother, knew she was my exes cousin and also knew that I had no idea who she was, I showed section 15 that states they have 30 days to do the review upon my asking for it but she still refuses. Any advise?

Contact Location: Canada

               

Monitor Father Rights Canada / Corruption in Terrace Bc updates & replies. Email:

First and foremost: BE Proactive. This time of year tends to be the most painful and difficult—save, of course, for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and yours and your kids’ birthdays. But there are things that you can do to make the hopeful holiday message work for you or... access page ...

First and foremost: BE Proactive. This time of year tends to be the most painful and difficult—save, of course, for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and yours and your kids’ birthdays. But there are things that you can do to make the hopeful holiday message work for you or at least work better for you.

Although you have been unjustifiably maltreated and rejected by your ex and by your kids, you must nonetheless recognize that you have a right to expect others to treat you with consideration, dignity, and decency. And you have an obligation to yourself to nurture your own self-respect. My emphasis here is on the significance of how you treat yourself and perceive yourself to be.

I think the fundamental message I want to convey to you is that you must not internalize the brainwashed, denigrating messages you have repeatedly heard from your ex and from your kids. As Steve Miller, MD often counsels, “Do not allow your ex to rent space in your head.” If you internalize the denigrations, it will then affect how you act—which will not serve you well.

Do not allow your ex and your kids to make you doubt yourself. There is nothing you did, could have done, or are doing now that justifies your child’s rejection and maltreatment of you.

The cause of the rejection was the handiwork of the alienator, who is a con artist and grand manipulator. Alienators project all blame and responsibility onto the other—which is what they have done to you.

You need to recast your role from one who has received abuse and maltreatment to one who requires respect and consideration.

Reject the negative, alienating messages about you and tell yourself that you are loveable, desirable, and coveted. Surround yourself with others who send you positive messages about yourself.

Now, of course, your loving family, friends, and others with whom you have an intimate relationship, may not understand what alienation is and what you are going through. They may therefore not know how to be helpful to. There are two main reasons for this:

Firstly, they, like many professionals, may have been fooled by the numerous counterintuitive issues occurring in alienation cases—counterintuitive issues that you have heard Steve Miller, Amy Baker, and me write and testify about.

One of those counterintuitive issues is that: “It is so anti-instinctual for a child to reject a parent, that, when it happens, the rejected parent must have done something terrifically awful to warrant the rejection.” There is a rush to judgment to arrive at this explanation for the rejection. But as Dr. Miller has also discussed, the scientific method requires that all plausible hypotheses be generated to explain a clinical presentation. Well, when the experts, such as forensic evaluators and mental health clinicians, fail to generate all plausible hypotheses for the cause of the child’s rejection, you cannot expect that your friends and family will undertake such an analysis by asking themselves, “Gee, I wonder what are all plausible hypotheses I can generate to explain why little Sally has suddenly refused all contact with my brother?”

So sometimes, your friends and family need an education about alienation to understand why your children(ren) have rejected or maltreated you. How do you explain it to them? Are you defensive in explaining it? Are you self-doubting in explaining it? Is the voice of your ex, whom you have allowed to rent space in your head, influencing how you describe your situation to your loved ones? That is a natural place to be as a result of the mountain of denigrations that have been heaped upon you.

But there is an alternative way to present your situation. Be affirmative, concise, and to the point. You need not justify or self-flagellate for every little transgression you have committed as a parent. Your child did not come with an instruction manual, and parenting has always been a trial and error process because each child is idiosyncratic. Also, as we say in family therapy, experience changes feelings and thoughts.

So, if you act in a way that requires respect and consideration, you are more likely to receive respect and consideration; and when you receive respect and consideration from others, then you will be more likely to believe and feel you are entitled to self-respect and consideration. Know your own worth!

Alienated parents need to be proactive and not merely reactive.

This is good advice for those of you who have contact with your kids. Require respect and consideration from them. Don’t act defensive with your kids—as when they put you on the spot by accusing you of misdeeds you did not do. Keep yourself in your parental role at all times.

Respond to your alienated child with the same parental authority as you did prior to the alienation. You know exactly when your child puts you on the defensive: it occurs when your child assumes the parental role, requiring that you answer to your child, who is subjecting you to the Inquisition. Often not answering your alienated child’s accusations is more effective than attempting to correct their revisionist history—and especially if you sound defensive. Attempt to create positive experiences and corrective interactions with your child so as to belie their distorted beliefs about you. Actions speak louder than words.

I know, this is all easier said than done! But practice it. Maybe take a page from Dr. Miller’s playbook: google Oliver North’s testimony before Congress regarding his actions in Iran Contra. If nothing else, it will pass the time! North brilliantly and effectively models how not to be defensive when under attack; and he skillfully puts his accusers on the defensive. Wouldn’t that be nice to turn the tables on your alienator!

Be proactive with the reunification therapist as well. This is the non-specialist therapist who requires that you accept your children’s delusional beliefs about you and the family history and further commands that you empathize with your children’s feelings—for misdeeds you did not commit. This is the very therapist who does not recognize how you have been traumatized by the alienation and therefore does not empathize with your feelings! And boy, do your children give the therapist plenty of reason to empathize with you by the way they maltreat and disrespect you in the session—right in front of the therapist’s nose!

When the therapist fails to challenge your children for their maltreatment and disrespect of you, the therapist is sanctioning your child’s anti-social behaviors. This is negligence!

Just imagine the therapist responding in kind had your child been referred to the therapist for having, instead, maltreated and defied his/her teacher. Would the therapist write a letter to the teacher stating the following:

Dear Mr./Mrs. Teacher: I just had a therapy session with blah blah child, who reported to me that you have embarrassed him/her by asking her/him, in front of the entire class, to take a seat after he/she had repetitively popped up and down from her/his seat. Your relationship with blah blah child cannot resolve if you do not apologize to blah blah child for your inexcusable criticism. It is very important that you recognize blah blah child’s feelings and promise never to embarrass blah blah child again.

If you continue with your embarrassing treatment of blah blah child, I will be forced to write a letter to your principal expressing concerns about your relationship with blah blah child and that continued interaction with you is not in blah blah child’s best interest.

Very sincerely, Mr./Mrs. relationship therapist

Be proactive and suggest that the therapist deal with your child exactly the same way that the therapist would deal with your child if sent to therapy for disrespecting a teacher or any other authority figure. (You might want to discuss this with the therapist out of the presence of your children.)

You might also attempt to bring in videos, pictures, and memorabilia of your time with your child prior to the onset of the alienation. I would also talk with the therapist about using this intervention. If you are greeted with resistance, respectfully provide the therapist with information from my website about the effectiveness of this technique.

Now for those of you who have no contact with your child, my heart goes out to you. This is such an unimaginably painful situation. Numerous alienated parents have expressed to me that they fear their legacy to their children will their child’s beliefs that they are a neglectful and abusive parent and perhaps a demented, unsocialized, less-human being.

Under the circumstances of total loss of contact, what can be done to correct the child’s revisionist family history. And how can you be proactive when you have absolutely no contact? This seems to be such a helpless situation; you have tried every conceivable attempt at contact and have been rebuffed. You fear that this revisionist family history in which you—and therefore half of your child—is a monster to be shamed, humiliated, and rejected. What can you do about it?

On my website, I wrote an article entitled, “The sacrifice of the alienated parent.” It was with a heavy heart I wrote that article because it is about alienated situations that appear to be hopeless.

First of all, I don’t think any situation is hopeless. You never know when your child will see the light or when some sort of family emergency requires contact. That’s what happened in my case when I turned 18, and I reconnected with my father. However, we know, sadly, that alienation can survive the alienated parent so you may want to leave a corrected history for your child. In the article, I suggested making a video about the family history from your perspective.

I have provided sample questions in the article, but the sky is the limit on what you would like to include and address. You could record, in the video, other videos you have of your life with your child prior to the onset of the alienation. You can display and read any mementos of your relationship with your child, such as cards that your child had made for you in school for various holidays. And you might want to sit down this holiday season and write a letter to your children about how you feel about this profound loss of them. Read that letter during the video.

A few important caveats: do not bash, character assassinate, or pathologize the alienating parent. This was wrong when it was done to you, and it is wrong when done in retaliation, and it will only make your child want to defend the enmeshed, alienating parent. But it is okay to label alienating behaviors as wrong, unfair, unhelpful, and even malicious—such as the making of false child abuse allegations. Your child needs to understand that acting defiantly, disrespectfully, and even cruelly is wrong and will not serve them well in life—either in authority situations such as with a boss or in their intimate relationships. Your child has not received this message from the alienating parent; actually, your child receives exactly the opposite message. So, it is important that you convey this information sensitively, compassionately, and non-defensively.

You are likely the only influence who will model socially-appropriate behaviors and how to love and be loved in a relationship. You have a right and a responsibility to correct your child’s misinformation about you—as long as you do not pathologize the alienator.

Do not show your anger in the video; but you should convey your pain. Anger is a cover for pain, which is the primary emotion in alienation situations and which should therefore be emphasized. It serves many positive purposes for your child to see your tears and recognize your sadness over the loss of your relationship. Remember, one of the manifestations of an alienated child is the absence of guilt or remorse for how they have maltreated you and for rejecting you. Your child has learned antisocial behaviors from their alienating parent. You can counter and correct the modeling of antisocial behaviors by evoking your child’s guilt for their behaviors.

Guilt is good; guilt is what keeps us socially compliant individuals. Guilting your child for their anti-social behaviors is appropriate. When alienating parents guilt their children into meeting their needs, that is inappropriate, manipulative, and abusive. Take annual pictures of yourself as well as writing this letter annually and include both in this “time capsule” that you are going to leave for your child along with the video.

I would make copies of the video and whatever you create for the time capsule enough for every person whom you feel might be in a position to deliver it to your child after your passing. Perhaps you, or another trusted confidant, may be in a position to deliver the video and time capsule to your child once your child attains the age of 18 years.

This will likely be a difficult task to undertake—but it may provide some peace of mind for you that there is a mechanism to leave to your child a factual and symbolic memory of you.

It is important to remember that your child did not choose to reject you but had been brainwashed to do so by an exceptionally crafty and skillful manipulator. Your child is caught in a loyalty bind that had been thrust upon them by their alienating parent. This bind, or web, requires that your child cannot stay loyal to the alienating parent unless your child maltreats and rejects to you. Should you be fortunate to resume some contact with your child, you must forgive your child’s past maltreatment but nevertheless require appropriate treatment going forward.

Now getting back to your family, friends, and intimate relationships. I stated that there are two reasons that they may not understand your situation or may be less helpful than they would like to be. The first reason was their lack of understanding about what alienation is and how it could have happened.

The second reason is that they will be grasping at straws to figure out what would be helpful counsel.

Unless your confidants had experienced the loss of a child due to alienation, they cannot fully comprehend you or your situation. So, their counsel may or may not be helpful to you.

The loss of a child from alienation rivals no other loss. Even the loss of a child from death has closure.

You, and you alone know how you need to mourn: whether the mourning is too much, too little, too extreme, not measured enough—you must decide for yourself. There is no universally correct way too mourn.

It’s okay if you need to sometimes wear your mourning on your sleeve when in intimate situations.

Nobody can tell you that feeling your anger about the alienation is wrong, wicked, or even over the top: I said feeling it—not acting on it! Our wish for alienators is that they did not take that leap from feeling to acting.

So I have a few practical tips to help you get through the holidays—and just like the counsel from your friends, family and other intimates, my counsel may or may not be helpful. But here goes:

If you find that your mourning or your emotions are consuming you, try this: allow yourself a certain amount of time each day or each week to focus on your mourning, anger, frustrations or other emotions. Pick a time that does not conflict with something else you do and set a realistic amount of time you think you may need to mourn, to get angry, or to deal with any other feeling. Once you have determined the frequency and time allotted, adhere to that schedule religiously—even if you do not feel like mourning or addressing your emotions then.

Only if you undertake this “ritual” even when don’t feel like it, will you be able to stop yourself from obsessing when it is not convenient or desirable to obsess.

Some other tips:

Stay active,

Get together with others who respect and value you,

Volunteer at a homeless shelter,

Visit people in a nursing home who don’t get visitors,

Volunteer at a hospital with children suffering from cancer or some other serious ailment

Hope for the best, expect the best, and be prepared to accept what you cannot control.

Best wishes for the holidays from a formerly alienated child,

Linda

Source:

Getting through the holidays, and perhaps life, under the plague of alienation

By Linda J. Gottlieb, LMFT, LCSW-R

               

Monitor Getting through the holidays and perhaps life under the plague of alienation updates & replies. Email:

I would love for the world to know the monster this woman is. What she and women like her do. She has destroyed the relationship for her own self centered needs. This woman doesn’t have a job, a car, license, live with her dad in a trailer rent free, has Medicaid, food stamps, church help, ... access page ...

I would love for the world to know the monster this woman is. What she and women like her do. She has destroyed the relationship for her own self centered needs. This woman doesn’t have a job, a car, license, live with her dad in a trailer rent free, has Medicaid, food stamps, church help, my child support, and claims I’m the bad guy. My kids are overweight and failing school.


I was talking to my son last night, whom I haven’t seen in months. Asked why he hasn’t been spending time with me. I was told he’s to busy with school and family. I said I’m family and needed so time too. He flat out said I’m not his family. Wait! What? I’m his father and I’m not family?? The mother has done a wonderful job of alienation

               

Monitor My kids are overweight and failing school and mom is a free loader updates & replies. Email:

               

Monitor Recognizing the symptoms of Parental Alienation updates & replies. Email:

               

Monitor Zdenek Hanzlik died after setting himself alight had been protesting Family Court issues updates & replies. Email:

Attached, please find attached a news article in PDF format about the flagrant abuse of police resources in Ontario by CAS workers (mostly unregistered workers) which are being used to threaten and to intimidate children and families from across Ontario. The article can also be viewed on line at ... access page ...

Attached, please find attached a news article in PDF format about the flagrant abuse of police resources in Ontario by CAS workers (mostly unregistered workers) which are being used to threaten and to intimidate children and families from across Ontario. The article can also be viewed on line at the link at the bottom of this message.

Every day in Ontario, CAS workers (most unregistered with the College of Social Work) are committing illegal searches, detentions and interrogations in homes and at schools with no warrant and only with police at their side to bully and intimidate parents into compliance. Children and parents are being terrorized in their homes and schools.

As we write this letter, just today we have received a complaint coming in regarding one of the province's largest CAS agencies where one of its unregistered CAS workers was recorded on a police audio recording committing extortion as defined under the Criminal Code of Canada along with the Police officer as well. Both the police officer and the unregistered CAS worker committed extortion before unlawfully apprehending a 12-year-old boy. The boy was apprehended because one of the parents would not admit to slapping the child on the chin for badmouthing the child. This is not grounds for apprehension under Ontario's Child and Family Service Act.

Any member of the Legislature who would like to see the transcripts of this audio recording and redacted details of this case can contact Canada Court Watch for details by phone or by email.

It is clear that CAS agencies and workers continue to violate the law and to pull the wool over the eyes of those at Queens Park who make up our laws which are supposed to protect children and families. The CAS workers continue to break the law often with the help of police and continue to violate the Charter Rights of the citizens of Ontario. There is growing public loss of respect for CAS workers and law enforcement as a result of the flagrant violations to the laws in Ontario by unregistered CAS workers and police.

The time has come for the elected officials to stand up and to take action as the Premier promised when she said that she was considering blowing up the CAS mess back in December of last year.

Body cameras on all police officers and a requirement that CAS workers audio record their interactions with children and parents would significantly reduce the abuses and strengthen public confidence in law enforcement and child protection.

It's time to clean up the mess with CAS!

Canada Court Watch
info@canadacourtwatch.com
Tel: 416-410-4115
www.canadacourtwatch.com


Review the attachment(s) online:
advocacycanada.com/Policeusedtoharassandintimidateparents.pdf

 

               

Monitor Public loss of respect for CAS workers law enforcement result of the flagrant violations to the laws updates & replies. Email:

               

Monitor Alienating unempathetic spiteful parent refuses child's request for equal time between both Parents updates & replies. Email:

I wrote a 10 page essay in my social work English course I took last year. I chose parental alienation and researched my heart out and then submitted it to the judge that kept my kids from me so he would have to read it and see the mistake he made and how he hurt me and my kids. He went on sick l... access page ...

I wrote a 10 page essay in my social work English course I took last year. I chose parental alienation and researched my heart out and then submitted it to the judge that kept my kids from me so he would have to read it and see the mistake he made and how he hurt me and my kids. He went on sick leave shortly after I like to hope it had something to do with guilt. 

* * * * Destruction of a Childhood: Parental Alienation as a form of child abuse * * * * 

[Parental alienation is] “A child’s strong alliance with one parent and rejection of a relationship with the other parent without legitimate justification” - William Bernet


Parental Alienation has been around since the early 19"‘ century and is an ongoing issue in relationship separations where children are involved. Children are used as tools to further abuse or to exact revenge on the other parent. This paper will examine parental alienation and how it is a serious form of child abuse. This research paper will examine how parental alienation affects the child; uses a form of brainwashing, and is both mental and psychological abuse. How by destroying one of the main relationships in a child’s life, a relationship that should be safe and how it affects them. Second it will examine how it affects the rejected parent, as a form of emotional abuse; mostly mothers. Lastly it will examine why it needs to stop and awareness created in the judicial system about parental alienation. This paper will argue that parental alienation is indeed a form of child abuse and that more awareness is needed to protect children
who need the love of both parents.


Parental alienation is not a new idea (originally called alienation of affection) Bemet (2015) describes it as appearing in legal writings as early as the since the early 19"‘ century with Richard Gardner introducing the term parental alienation syndrome (PAS) in 1985. Gardner explained 8 behaviors that usually occur together in cases of parental alienation as a “syndrome”
Those 8 behaviors are:


1) Campaign to belittle the lost parent — the children belittle one parent in front of the other, eventually leading to the extreme exclusion of the targeted parent completely.

2) Baseless rationalizations for the child's unfair judgement of the targeted parent.

3) Dichotomizations of the parents — alienating parent is perceived as only good, the lost parent is bad.

4) Independent-thinker phenomenon- the children remember things differently articulating things in ways that are not in character for them.

5) Automatic love of the alienating parent — children support alienating parent

6) Absence of guilt — the children feel no guilt about losing the lost parent

7) Borrowed scenarios — the children remember things differently and articulate things in Ways that are out of character for them.

8) Generalization of animosity — parents extended family is included in the animosity.(p. 3) According to Gardner Parental alienation manifests itself as an insulting act by one parent against the other. Beverly (2013) states that large numbers of children are exposed to pressure from both parents competing with each other for the love of the child. Parents are more concerned about Who’s winning instead of concentrating on What is in the best interests of the child.(p.l54)

Parental Alienation is a game Where the alienating parent uses their child as a pawn to slight, or get even with the targeted parent. According to Nichols (2013), Parental alienation is abundant in messy custody battles. Where one parent brainwashes their child against the other, it proves the effects that we think divorce has on family dynamics. (p.663) “The concept of a diagnosable “Parental Alienation Syndrome” (“PAS”) developed as an attempt to explain this phenomenon”. (Nichols 2013) PAS and related ideas continue provide direction in the outcomes of family courts. During these extremely stressful situations, children deserve individual representation to be certain that their best interests are what’s being fought for. The court has a huge responsibility to the children to keep them from being used as pawns by one parent against the other, causing long term damage.


Parental alienation can have many effects on the child as it is considered a mental condition where a child strongly sides with one parent “(the preferred parent or alienating parent)” (Bemet 2015) and refuses to associate with the other parent (the targeted or lost parent) without reasonable explanation. According to Bernet (2015) for the child to be considered alienated, dismissal of the targeted parent must be without reasonable explanation. If that parent has been abusive or very neglectful, the child‘s rejection of that parent is reasonable and is not considered alienation. Parental estrangement is most often used to describe the rejection of a parent by their child with legitimate justi?cation. Estrangement is typically used to describe rejection due to the lost parents own actions whereas alienating is the result of the preferred parents brainwashing of the child. “Thousands of children are being systematically taught to detest one oftheir parents by the only other person whom the child should trust implicitly — in other words, the favored usually custodial parent” (Beverly 2013). The alienating parent will slander the targeted parent “by making moral judgements against the other parent’s values, lifestyle, friend choices, career decisions, or ?nancial or relational success or failures in life. This often occurs in varying degrees of depth over time, but profound none the less.



 “Like the wearing a way of a stone constantly assaulted by waves, the child’s perception of the target parent changes from its original, more positive, view ?nally conforming to the programming negative one. In such cases, the effect is almost irreversible. These beliefs become so ingrained that the parent who created them no longer has to promote them. They have been given life within the child’s own mind. So much so, that the parent may honestly report that he or she is not actively doing anything by word or deed to thwart the target parent’s elationship with the child (Steinberger, 2008 cited in Meier 2009)”.


This is why it is so important to watch for signs of parental alienation, and to take claims of parental alienation seriously, ?xing it is much more dif?cult than stopping it. When court orders are involved and give the targeted parent no footing to try and repair the damage the alienating parent is subjecting the child too, it makes the damage so much worse.


Over one million children per year are affected by divorces involving families with minor children. Solving these cases privately or through mediation is of course in the best interests for all involved parties, but all too often one or both parents are unwilling to come to a decision that suits everyone and is in the best interests of the child. Approximately 10% of those cases proceed to court for extensive litigation. Nichols (2015) explains how vile child custody cases can turn, in response to how adversarial the courts can be, added to the high emotions that come with divorce proceedings (p. 664). “Some experts argue that divorce may be “the single most traumatic experience” of a child’s life, with the potential to cause long-term psychological damage (Nichols 2013). Nichols explains how allegations of abuse or domestic violence run rampant in messy custody battles but even when that’s not the case parents are inclined to use their children as pawns against each other (p. 664). According to Gardner, PAS is a childhood disorder that is used exclusively in the context of child-custody disputes. “Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification” (Gardner 2004).


It is a result of the mix of the programming parent’s indoctrinations and the contributions of the child to vilify the other parent. Child custody cases can be very messy, and rewards are never higher than when there is alleged abuse and one wrong decision can cause the child a lifetime of agony as well as the loss of a loving parent. Warshak (2015) states that studies have shown that in thirty three percent of entrenched custody cases, one parent was clearly at fault for LP starting and continuing con?ict. Clinical reports and some larger empirical studies describe disconcerting behaviour on behalf of favoured parents, often showing signs that characteristically are that of borderline and narcissistic psychopathology (p5-6). Warshak (2015) also goes on to say that favoured parents more than the rejected parent display controlling behaviour, rage, paranoia and a style of parenting that embroils parent-child relationships such as invasive and infantile behaviours.(p. 6) “The favoured parents programming as the primaly dynamic behind a child’s alienation is regarded as psychologically abusive, it is agreed by researchers that the behaviours of the favoured parent “constitute emotional abuse of the child” (Warshak 2015). It is so easy for the parent who is using the child to “pull the wool” over the judges eyes and make the judge think he is doing what’s best for the child, when in tum he is contributing to the abuse of the child and the targeted parent.


Parental Alienation is a form of mental and psychological abuse on the child and in tum the tar eted arent. “Parental alienation" whether direct or indirect conscious or unconscious , requires the contribution of the favoured parent’s behaviour” (Giancarlo and Rottman 2015).


According to the research of Giancarlo and Rottman (2015) in cases that are extremely dif?cult it is common that the favoured parent will convince themselves that going against court orders and noncompliance is protecting the best interests of the child, whether it is unconscious, mental illness or even a personality disorder. This shows the high levels of distortion in perception in difficult custody disputes (p. 28) “In fact, in comparison to rejected parents, favoured parents have more psychological disturbances, including histrionic, paranoid, and narcissistic personality disorders or characteristics, psychosis, and suicidal behaviour” (Giancarlo and Rottman 2015).


According to Giancarlo a main strategy used by alienating parents is to instil fear in the child who shows affection to the rejected parent, thus increasing the child’s dependency on the alienator.


Other common strategies used by the favoured parent include noncompliance with court ordered or agreed to parenting time and contact; interference with mail and phone contact; seeking restrained and supervised visitation orders; failing to pass on to the child phone calls, messages, and letters from the targeted parent; interference with access to information regarding the child such as school medial or social events limited or prevented contact with the alienated parents extended family and a prohibition from any reference to the alienated parent.


The alienating parent often has an obsession with not letting the targeted parent having any visitation rights. The alienating parent ensures this goal using any means they can. The history of mental illness in the alienator is all the more reason for courts to protect the best interests of the child by not letting the stable parent who was always there for the child be pushed out of the picture and having no ability to protect the children because courts allow the alienating parent full custody.


The alienating parent now having “won” will then neglect or continue to abuse the children, since their main goal wasn’t the best interests of the child it was only in winning and causing harm to the targeted parent.

Parental Alienation is in itself a form of brainwashing, or implanting of false memories in the child.


The alienating parent makes the child remember things differently than what actually happened. Gardner (2004) explains PAS as a disorder where children who have been programmed by the alienating continue on a path to belittle the victimized parent. This isn’t just simple brainwashing we are dealing with. The children’s own false memories contribute to and complement those declared by the programing parent” (p. 80). This is effective and harmful due to the cognitive immaturity of the child, some of the stories may appear preposterous, and this should be a red flag to the courts and professionals dealing with these children. If the other adults would pay attention to how ridiculous some of these stories are in comparison to what professionals who have dealt with these children all their lives say about the targeted parent maybe more children could be spared the pain and trauma of having one of their parents target the other.


Parental Alienation doesn’t just affect the children involved in the custody battle; it is also devastating to the targeted parent and their family.


The alienating parent doesn’t just rob the child of a loving parent but they also alienate the child from grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and basically anyone who they think will contradict the stories they’ve concocted about the targeted parent, thus robbing the child from half of their family tree who cherished their relationship with that child. According to Meier (2009) the abusive parent often berates and attacks the mother’s character in front of the children, criticizing her downfalls as housewife, calling her derogatory names, or criticizing her as a person insulting and undermining her parenting and encouraging the children not to obey her, taking active steps to undermine her activities with the children. The alienating parent will tell the child the mother is wrong, then do the same behavior themselves while convincing the child its ok when they do it, thus causing more confusion for the child. Meier discusses how vendettas against the mother of their children’s are often played out against her in aggressive lawsuits (p.234). “Custody litigation is an “ideal” mechanism for denigrating the mother by providing a forum for attacks on her dignity and competence as a mother while enlisting court personnel to join the attack” (Meier 2009).


Losing custody is the worst thing that can happen to a mother especially losing to her abuser. “When abusers do receive custody, as is becoming more common, they have thereby succeeded in inflicting a profound injury on the mother. The legal systems legitimacy of her abuser and rejection of her as a parent xacerbates the hann (Meier 2009)”. Due to the fact that a large number of abusers who gain custody use it to completely end contact with the mother of the child “termination of the mother-child bond is the epitome of destructive parental alienation (Meier 2009)”. For the sake of the child; the bond with a mother should always be preserved except in the most extreme of cases where there is obvious harm.

According to Warshak some children do have good reasons for rejecting one parent, but the favored parent eagerly encourages these negative feelings. In these cases the child’s rejection of the other parent has both rational and irrational reasons. The lost parent’s behavior may have been enough to alienate the child at the time, but the alienating parent disrupts the healing that would have occurred naturally with time and support (p. 6). Warshak explains how this doesn’t imply that the lost parent is equally responsible for the child’s alienation which has been molded in the context of mental abuse by the alienating parent (p.6). “Laying such blame on the rejected parent is analogous to ignoring the power imbalance that may exist between spouses and holding the spouse of a physically abusive parent equally responsible for the child’s injuries because she failed to protect the child” (Warshak 2015). The judge needs to take into consideration all factors of past behavior of both parents and who was always there for the child. If at all possible the bonds with both parents should never be harmed. When a child chooses not to have a relationship with one of their parents it is then up to the court to sort out whether the child’s choice is justi?ed (estrangement) or unjustified (parental alienation).


A very important syndrome that needs more awareness is that of “the threatened mother syndrome” (TMS) which according to Klass (2005) is the reaction that a mother who is the child’s major caregiver; manifests when the bond with her children is threatened. In response she will show anger, rage, she will have ?ts and use threats, manipulation, and various forms of aggressive behavior. This reaction is not an accurate perception of the general behaviour the mother usually on a daily basis and is brought on by an innate instinct to protect and keep safe her helpless children (p.189). “This well-recognized response in animals carries over to the human species, but is altered and modi?ed by cultural and social in?uences. Lack of recognition and understanding of this syndrome may lead to unfair appraisal of a mother and result in what is not in the best interest of a child” (Klass 2005). Upon further explanation Klass (2005) discusses
how anyone who works with animals knows that you never come between a mother in the animal kingdom and their offspring. Attacks from wild animals happen most often when the mother feels the safety of her young is in danger (p. 189). “This threat provokes a wild rage and unrelenting attack by the mother, often resulting in maiming or death of the intruder.

This primitive aggressive response is unrelated to the intention of the intruder, who may have wandered unknowingly between the mother and offspring” (Klass 2005). The human mother is no different and when the mother perceives there to be a threat from the divorcing father or others Who she feels are there to separate her from the ongoing protective bond she has lovingly cultivated since the birth of her child (p. 190).

When threatened; any mother will respond with anger, or aggression, which those in the legal parameters will jump to claim PAS or see her as an un?t parent. The distinguishing feature that separates TMS from PAS is that the mother is only trying to protect the bond with her children and she is no way trying to alienate the father. In order to protect the best interests of the child this syndrome needs more awareness because in many cases a mother who is only trying to protect her children can be seen as irrational and actually jeopardize what she is trying so hard to protect. Klass explains how professionals may side with the contrastingly calm and self- controlled father, believing the fathers claims that the mother is an unfit parent. A campaign is started where the father; looking to malign the mother to the courts will exploit her TMS reaction (p. 190) “TMS mothers are easy to dislike and prejudice results” (Klass 2005).


Warshak (2015) explains that how some people believe that mothers can’t fall victims to the irrational rejection of their own children and are predisposed to believe that children who do reject their own mothers have valid excuses to do so. Evaluators are then led to believe that a mothers faults that led to the rejection outweigh the influence of the manipulation on the fathers behalf and how it contributed to the negative feelings these children have towards their mothers (p. 4) More awareness is needed with the courts, and evaluators working in custody cases to bring about what are in the best interests of the child and not let perceived notions or the lies of the alienating parent cloud their judgement when it comes to the long term effects such decisions can have on the child. 

Although parental alienation happens most often with young children, it can also affect teenagers. The courts assume that teenagers are more able to deal with what’s going on than younger children, because of their more mature thought processes. “They are also better able to convince others that their wish to avoid or disown a parent is a reasonable, thoughtful and proportionate response to the treatment they claim to have suffered at the hands of the rejected parent" (Warshak 2015). In cases where judges allow teenagers to reunite with the lost parent at a time of their choice has resulted in estrangement from that parent for good. According to Warshak (2015) teenagers are still suggestible, and extremely vulnerable to outside in?uences and susceptible to immature judgements and behaviour. According to the American psychological association adolescents need to be treated differently by the legal system they should not be subjected to the same treatment as adults. “studies have reported that most children’s protests evaporate when reunited with a rejected parent, instead of appeasing child.ren’s demands, the court can order an intervention to assist children adjusting to court orders that place them with their rejected parent”(Warshak 2015).


Teenagers have many rules and expectations that they don’t always agree with and according to Warshak (2015) it is unwise to assume they don’t bene?t from shown authority on behalf of the court and their parents. Teenagers need the guidance of adults, especially those in authority. They need structure and limits as much or more than children who are younger (p. 12). These are definitely points that should be considered when judges are deciding the fate of teenage children.


More awareness is needed to protect children and targeted parents from abusive parents who use the courts to slander and defame the targeted parent and destroy the childhood of their children, even though parental Alienation only started gaining attention since the term was coined 1985 and “it is true that the actual words "parental alienation" are not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, now in its ?fth edition (DSM-5), the concept is clearly expressed in that book. Children who experience PA can be identi?ed by DSM-5 terms such as "child affected by parental relationship distress," "parent-child relational problem," and "child psychological abuse“(Bernet 2015). It is very important to create awareness about parental alienation, for the sake of the children being used and abused and the targeted parent who is being destroyed, especially in the legal system where it is not being identi?ed and the system is being used to continue the abuse of children and targeted parents. Alienating parents cannot be swayed with logic or reason, due to their paranoia, they project their own negative qualities onto the targeted parent and portray themselves as the victim. “In some instances, a professional may not have thought to question the belief, or lack suf?cient experience and familiarity with research literature to test the accuracy of the assumption”(Warshak 2015).


“The courts should recognize a tortious cause of action for intentional alienation.

Unreasonable parental alienation occurs when the relationship between the child and the rejected parent is irreparably harmed through an intentional act by the favored parent or through a parent’s conscious indifference to the harm caused by their actions. The threat of tortious action serves as a deterrent for future activity and as punishment for the harm caused to both the child and the rejected parent (Beverly 2013)”.


Beverly (2013) also argues that if a child from an unbroken family were to display the hatred and fear characteristic of irrational alienation, treatment would be considered, so then shouldn’t children who develop the rejection of a parent to an extreme degree after their parents split up, also get the same bene?t from an experienced and logical therapeutic intervention? This is a question that all courts should think of when granting custody solely to one parent. Courts tend not to want to remove the children from the favoured parents’ home fearing more trauma but studies have shown that “despite initial protests and demands, once reunited with the rejected parent most children recover the positive feelings that had been dormant since the onset of alienation or that they did not feel free to express (Warshak 2015)”. Warranted or not, children should always get treatment for the trauma of being separated from a parent. Not only is divorce/ separation grief inducing, but add to it the complete loss of a parent, it will turn out to be the most traumatic thing that could happen besides the death of a parent.



In conclusion it is absolutely undeniable that a parent has the ability to destroy a Childs relationship with the other parent. The fact that some children especially those involved in high con?ict custody battles develop strong feelings of hatred or disgmst for the other is likely.



There needs to be more counselling for all members of a disintegrating family so that the parents can learn better ways of dealing with their bitterness and the children that are stuck in the middle can have someone there advocating for them and for the targeted parent. Judges and lawyers need more awareness regarding these conditions so that they also aren’t used as pawns to target the rejected parent, therefore giving the favoured parent even more self-pride that he was able to deceive professionals.



There should also be harsh consequences for a parent who will in fact mentally abuse their child by alienating them from the other parent and causing lasting damage to their development and their fragile growing psyche.


References

Adams MA, (2006) Framing contests in child custody disputes: Parental Alienation Syndrome, child abuse, gender and fathers’ rights. Family law quarterly 40(2) 315-338
http://www.abanet.org

Bemet W, (2015) Misinformation vs. facts Judges journal 54(3) 23-27
http://www.abanet.org

Beverly B. (2013) A remedy to the Crime: A call for the recognition of A Parent by a child as tortious conduct. Utah Law review journal of Law and Family studies 15(4) 153-I 79
http://www.law.utah.edu/academic/utahLawReview/


Gardner R, (2004) The Relationship between Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and the False Memory Syndrome (FMS) The American journal offamily therapy 32 79-99 DOI — 10.1080/0l926l8049042418l Giancarlo C, Rottman K. (2015) Kids come last: The effect of Family Law involvement in
Parental Alienation Intemational journal of interdisciplinary Social Services Annual
Review 9 27-42
http://commongroundpublishing.com

Klass JL. psyd and Klass JV. MD (2005)Threatened Mother Syndrome (TMS): A Diverging Concept of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) American Journal of Family Law 18 (4) 189-19]
http://WWW.aspenpublislierscom
Meier J. (2009) A historical perspective on Parental Alienation Syndrome and parental Alienation. Journal of child custody 232-25 7 DOI 10.1018/l53.794l0903084681 Nichols M. 92014) Toward A Child centered Approach to Evaluating claims of Alienation in



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Warshak RA, (2015) Ten Parental Alienation Fallacies that Compromise Decisions in Court and in therapy, Professional Psychology Research and Practice (46)4 DOI: 10.1037/pro000O03l Abstract: This paper discusses Parental Alienation and the effects it has on both children and the targeted parent who loses a child. It discusses alienation as a form of a child abuse and how the actions of the alienating parents can be compared to personality disorders or mental illness. It shows how it will affect the children involved now and for the rest of their lives. The steps that need to happen to prevent it and/or treat it and the importance the court has in recognizing and stopping this damaging disorder.



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