Stockholm Syndrome is a very interesting psychological phenomenon, and it applies directly to daughters of narcissistic mothers.

Stockholm Syndrome is, in essence, the trait of abused people to bond closely with their abusers.

It was first identified in 1973 in Stockholm, Sweden (... access page ...

Stockholm Syndrome is a very interesting psychological phenomenon, and it applies directly to daughters of narcissistic mothers.

Stockholm Syndrome is, in essence, the trait of abused people to bond closely with their abusers.

It was first identified in 1973 in Stockholm, Sweden (hence the name) when victims of a bank hostage situation bonded with their hostage-taker to the extent of clinging to them when the police were arresting them and refusing to testify against them in court.

Since then, it has been seen again and again, most recently in the cases of Elisabeth Smart, Natascha Kampusch and Jaycee Lee Duggard who all had the opportunity to escape, but didn't take it.

It's a survival trait, it actually makes sense in many ways.

And interestingly, it seems that victims of abusers as well as kidnappers experience this. And I can see that it applies to daughters of narcissistic mothers. I look back now that I'm free of my mother and father's toxicity and cannot believe that I put up with so much bad treatment.

Several traits have to be present in order for Stockholm Syndrome to happen. They are:

The victim must feel that there is very real danger to their very survival.
The victim must be cut off from all other perspectives other than those of the abuser - i.e. that the abuser is the only source of information the person receives.
The victim must have a real, or perceived, inability to escape from the situation.
The abuser must give occasional kindnesses to the victim.
That last is very important. It's the kindnesses which cause the bonding. Because of the fear and isolation the person experiences, the small kindnesses assume a huge importance in the mind of the victim. He or she becomes incredibly grateful for them. The victim even becomes grateful for things which are their right, such as food, but which they didn't think they'd get and are grateful they did.

One survivor of an aeroplane hijacking said: “They weren’t bad people. They let me eat, they let me sleep, they gave me my life”.

I find that very interesting, that that person was for them giving him his life, when the truth was that the hostage-takers threatened his life. If they 'gave' him his life and spared him, it wasn't a favour they were doing him - it was his right to keep his life!

Now, how do these four elements apply to daughters of narcissistic mothers?

I don't know if we're in danger of our lives. It's the only one of these four points I'm not sure about. But I think that the mother-child relationship is soooooo integral to a baby/child's survival that any cracks in it will, at a very primeval level, make us fear for our survival. And the fact that we do seem to have Stockholm Syndrome makes me think this element must, in fact, apply too.

As for the second trait - this is where gaslighting comes in. Our mothers cannot literally and physically isolate us from other perspectives. But

they can make sure we don't believe any other information except for what the tell us - up to and including our own perceptions/senses!

The third trait is of course self-evident. A child does have a very real inabililty to escape. But even more, the abuse can by very subtle (and they tell us it's our fault etc), so that we don't even realise there's anything to escape from! And then, even as adults, our culture tells us that we must love our mothers! So we struggle to escape even then.

And then the fourth trait. The occasional kindnesses. Since running my forum I've read so, so many Daughters say that their mothers are sometimes kind to them. And that confuses them. It's intended to confuse them, I'd say. But more, these crumbs of kindness or attention or whatever, trigger the Stockholm Syndrome, which keeps the daughter even more trapped.

If you are the Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother, don't be fooled by occasional niceness. Healthy relationships are nice the majority of the time. Indeed, I'll go further, and say that while people who are functional and healthy can sometimes be angry, or grumpy, or selfish, or thoughtless etc (same as we all can), they'll never be sneering or nasty or dismissive or cruel.

But even if they are, it should be the absolute exception. Not the normal state of affairs.

So, consider if you might be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, if you feel you can't leave her.

Source: 404 Resource not found error  Daughters With Narcissistic Mothers
http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/stockholm-syndrome.html

Pathological liars - or "mythomaniacs" - may be suffering from histrionic personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. The following comments basically reflect a pathological liar who has the characteristics of histrionic personality disorder. 

Some ... access page ...

Pathological liars - or "mythomaniacs" - may be suffering from histrionic personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. The following comments basically reflect a pathological liar who has the characteristics of histrionic personality disorder. 

Some Characteristics: 

• Exaggerates things that are ridiculous.
• One-upping. Whatever you do, this person can do it better. You will never top them in their own mind, because they have a concerted need to be better than everyone else. This also applies to being right. If you try to confront an individual like this, no matter how lovingly and well-intentioned you might be - this will probably not be effective. It's threatening their fantasy of themselves, so they would rather argue with you and bring out the sharp knives than admit that there's anything wrong with them.
• They "construct" a reality around themselves. They don't value the truth, especially if they don't see it as hurting anyone. If you call them on a lie and they are backed into a corner, they will act very defensively and say ugly things (most likely but depends on personality), but they may eventually start to act like, "Well, what's the difference? You're making a big deal out of nothing!" (again, to refocus the conversation to your wrongdoing instead of theirs).
• Because these people don't value honesty, a lot of times they will not value loyalty. So watch what you tell them. They will not only tell others, but they will embellish to make you look worse. Their loyalty is fleeting, and because they are insecure people, they will find solace in confiding to whomever is in their favor at the moment.
• They may be somewhat of a hypochondriac. This can come in especially useful when caught in a lie, for example, they can claim that they have been sick, or that there's some mysteriously "illness" that has them all stressed out. It's another excuse tool for their behavior.
• Obviously, they will contradict what they say. This will become very clear over time. They usually aren't smart enough to keep track of so many lies (who would be?). 

Another WikiAnswers contributor adds: 

• They lie about even the smallest things. For example, saying "I brushed my teeth today," when they didn't.
• They add exaggerations to every sentence.
• They change their story all the time.
• They act very defensively when you question their statements.
• They believe what they say is true, when everyone else knows it isn't.

An alternate 'checklist':

• Lies when it is very easy to tell the truth.
• Lies to get sympathy, to look better, to save their butt, etc.
• Fools people at first but once they get to know him, no one believes anything they ever say.
• May have a personality disorder.
• Extremely manipulative.
• Has been caught in lies repeatedly.
• Never fesses up to the lies.
• Is a legend in their own mind.

More opinions and input from WikiAnswers contributors:

• I have found a few differences in pathological liar and a "slime ball" liar. Pathological liars cannot tell that they are lying; they actually believe the lie as soon as it comes out of their mouth. They lie about unimportant things that don't really matter to anyone. This can be caused by mental defect but isn't always. Slime-ball liars lie about things that make them look better or embellish to get attention. They also lie to keep their butts out of trouble and to get what they want.

• Here are things to ask yourself: How could this many things happen to one person? Would believe these stories if someone else told you? Think back to the beginning: you had red flags and alarms going off in you head. Learn to trust your instincts.

• It is very hard to tell when one is a pathological liar. Some people just are liars and lie to lie because they can and they don't care about getting caught and aware that you know they have lied. These people care not about lying, it's no big deal. It's like "ok, so what? I lied". The pathological liar on the other hand, IS aware that they are lying BUT will go to extremes to make you believe that they are truthful. They appear to believe their own lies BUT in truth, they know their lies are just that, lies. But because their efforts are constantly backing up their lies, it appears to us that they actually believe their lies, when we eventually do find out about them and then we tend to feel sorry for these people. Then they have an excuse, "I am sick, I don't know why I lie, I believed what I was saying etc." The only truth was the fact that they don't know why they lie. Other than that it's crap. It is true that most of them have an extremely low sense of self worth and are continuously trying to make themselves feel better about THEMSELVES and this is one reason they lie. It is about them but the lies are not always set up with the purpose to hurt some one else; it's that these people feel so low about themselves they need to create ANYTHING different from the ugly reality they feel about themselves so they lie about even the most tiniest little thing. The people closest to them get sucked into these lies which sometimes start as something very trivial and then turn into something that can turn everyone involved worlds upside down and inside out.

• Unmasking the pathological liar is an easier task when the pathological liar is no more than a casual acquaintence to the "un-masker." Close relationships provide camouflage for the pathological liar, and intimacy provides a heavily-fortressed breeding ground.

• Other indicators: 1) Rage attacks after they realize you're questioning their lies. 2) Distraction techniques, e.g. hanging up the phone when you catch them in lie, playing word games, or even just running out of the room. After using the distraction technique, or rage attack, or sometimes both, they will pretend that nothing ever happened. They re-write history, so it never did happen in their minds. Normal people do it too, but these people take it to the extreme.

• From "Go Ask Alice": Lies are unplanned and impulsive. Behavior is repeated over a long period of time. Lies don't seem to exist for any external reason. Behavior may not always be a conscious act. Lies are admitted, changed, and/or adapted if a false story is challenged.

• From Andrea Broadbent "The Truth about Truman": To begin, the definition of pathological actually means abnormal or grossly atypical. Therefore, a pathological liar prevaricates more frequently than the average person or tells more abnormal lies. In most cases, pathological liars tell lies that are "unplanned and impulsive" (Hausman). These lies are usually very emotional stories that tend to serve no purpose except to impress people (Ford 133). As of now, psychiatrists are unsure whether or not pathological liars are fully capable of realizing if and when they are lying, so detecting whether or not a person is a pathological liar is a very difficult task (Hausman). By looking at the list of conditions commonly connected with people considered to be pathological liars, psychiatrists are better able to determine whether or not a person might actually have the disorder. Some main qualities linked with pathological liars include dysfunctional family origin, family lying patterns, anomalies of sexual life, frequent substance abuse, and a great capacity for language.
• From Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D. "Psychological Honesty": Even a pathological liar carries deep in his heart a desire for goodness and honesty and yet, because of painful emotional wounds, believes that the world never has, and never will, recognize his pain. And so, to hide that pain from himself, he uses all the lies he can concoct to hurl at the world as he runs in fear from his own goodness. 
• For me, the first indication has been that I hear them tell different things to different people and they can't all be right, because they directly contradict each other! And I am able to prove it. If you can prove over and over again that things someone is telling you are outright false, then you have a pathological liar on your hands.
• With the Internet, it is now easier than ever to "fact-check" even the most mundane things. I think pathological liars often lose track of the lies they tell different people and it will eventually catch up with them.
  
  
  Source link:
  http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_tell_if_someone_is_a_pathological_liar

Links to attachment(s): July 24 2015 PDF Front Page 
access page ...

Links to attachment(s): July 24 2015 PDF Front Page 
http://www.brainsyntax.com/Portal/Material/1/3497_brainsyntax.pdf

Has your loving and affectionate child suddenly become unrecognizable to you? Does your child make you feel like you are the worst parent in the world?

If so, your former spouse may be turning your child against you. Known as parental alienation or parental alienation syndrome, simply ... access page ...

Has your loving and affectionate child suddenly become unrecognizable to you? Does your child make you feel like you are the worst parent in the world?

If so, your former spouse may be turning your child against you. Known as parental alienation or parental alienation syndrome, simply put it means your ex is manipulating and pressuring your kid to reject you.

Typically, your child's pattern of rejection results when your ex engages in destructive acts such as:

• Speaking poorly of you
• Limiting contact with you
• Interfering with communication between you and your child
• Emotionally punishing your child for expressing anything positive about you
• Telling your child that you do not love him or her

Parental alienation occurs often, but not always, in the context of divorce and custody battles. No one knows how many children are exposed to parental alienation or show signs of the parental alienation syndrome, but we do know that it can happen to mothers as well as fathers, to custodial parents as well as non-custodial parents and to kids as young as toddlers or as old as teens. It is marked by sudden changes in your child's interactions with you and you'll see new personality traits begin to emerge.

Here are some attitudes and behaviors to watch for:

Leave me alone. Your child is filled with animosity toward you. When confronted and reminded of the good times you two once shared, she insists you two NEVER had a good relationship — although you know that is not true. Suddenly, your once-loving and affectionate child seems to fear and, in some cases, despise you. He may even be reluctant to share a meal with you as though merely being in your presence is unbearable. When you question this, your child gives you frivolous and absurd reasons for this newfound negativity.

It's all your fault. Your child acts as if the other parent can do no wrong. Everything the other parent does is perfect in his eyes — something your child never seemed to feel about your ex during the marriage. Your child seems to forgive your ex — even the most inexcusable behavior — while ridiculing you for minor flaws and infractions.

Yeah, what he said. Your child consistently sides with your ex. And it seems she is following a script when she is talking about you, using some of the same labels your ex has used to describe you. He will repeat the same words and phrases, as if he is relying on words that are not his own and may have been rehearsed beforehand.

Family ties no longer bind. Your child shows no guilt about her shabby treatment of you. And she not only rejects you, but by extension, your family as well. Formerly beloved aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents are now shunned. And your child doesn't want to attend important family events such as weddings, reunions, even funerals.

Influence? What influence? Your child vehemently denies being influenced by your ex. When you note that he is using words and phrases that appear to parrot the other parent, your child dismisses you. In fact, he scoffs at the idea of being coached by anyone.

Check out Part Two of this series: 7 Steps to Combat Parental Alienation

Click the following for more articles and videos on Kids, Family, And Divorce

Sources:
5-signs-your-ex-turning-your-child-against-you

Parenting arrangements" are the arrangements parents make...

The drug hair test scandal is just the tip of the iceberg...

No matter how bad the situation gets, never force your children to choose sides. Kids do not fully understand the nature of the situation. For them, it is all very basic: they love both of you and want to know you both love them and little else really matters for them. So, even if you find that y... access page ...

No matter how bad the situation gets, never force your children to choose sides. Kids do not fully understand the nature of the situation. For them, it is all very basic: they love both of you and want to know you both love them and little else really matters for them. So, even if you find that your ex badmouths you to your children or makes nasty comments in front of them, simply blow it off and fight off any urges to retaliate, particularly through your children.


When a relationship with your child has been tainted by one parent, it takes a great deal of time, effort and patience on your part to re-bond with your child. 

If you believe that this is going to be an "instant" process of reattaching with your children; you are fooling yourself and setting yourself up for disappointment. 

I am often asked to post tips for rebonding with your "brainwashed child" and I have. But those are just general tips. Each parent's situation is different.

That is why when I work with parents trying to rebond with their children, I design a specific plan for you to implement. Everyone's situation is unique and your reunification plan should be as well. 

The first step in moving towards reuniting with your "alienated" child or children is saying

"I can't do this alone!"

They are definitely setting you up by assembling a "preponderance of evidence". By the time they knock on your door, they have likely already talked to your kids and teachers. 

The most important thing here is what is NOT being said or insinuated. I notice neglect and physical abu... access page ...

They are definitely setting you up by assembling a "preponderance of evidence". By the time they knock on your door, they have likely already talked to your kids and teachers. 

The most important thing here is what is NOT being said or insinuated. I notice neglect and physical abuse is not on the plate. Emotional abuse seems to be what they are focusing on. 

These are questions and answers you need to get your child on tape talking about. Yes, the child sees smoke (an example qualification is you smoke fake cigarettes once a day outside not in front of your child in consideration), yes you speak loudly on occasion, and your swear words are "heck" and "darn" NOT F or B words (which can be later argued are said in front of the child and then can be labelled emotional abuse). You say exactly when and how often (you banged your thumb hanging a picture last month, and your child remembers that).

The key here is not to outright deny, but to qualify the concerns in advance. This is civil, not criminal. You don't get a right to silence on child welfare concern, because that is always "hiding something" 

By pre-qualifying "concerns" there can be no "difference of facts" that will cause erring on the side of caution, and you are pointing out they are deliberately not qualifying the facts, they are not date or time stamping them in order that readers of their reports will make up worst case scenarios. 

Video tape your kids without them knowing (they would be interrogated and tell someone eventually you taped them and that could be used against you as intimidating or programming your child). When the time comes and someone is saying your kids said this and that, you have something to fall back on.

As a matter of establishing a happy child and healthy interaction, start posting those happy home videos. Take close up pictures of non-smoke artificial cigarettes and smoke those on camera. Your new on-camera swear words are "dag nab" it and "fiddlesticks", and your child will pipe up and say "stop swearing mom" and you put a quarter in the jar. That should get a laugh.

This way, it becomes more apparent the social workers are deliberately being as ambiguous as possible, and are trying to build a case on what is really innocuous stuff. The trick is, to accurately convey on paper on your records this is what they are doing, deliberately and knowingly.

Also note, "abuse" is a word that is a legal conclusion. It does not have a legal definition. If you say "damn" or "dang it" or speak loudly, anyone can slap a name like "abuse" on it and make no further qualification. Call the teacher again and record the call so you have backup. Ask if you are verbally abusing her and record the response. If you speak exactly as you did on the video with the social worker, you can make it clear this label of abuse is false reporting, and is subject to a lawsuit.

Talking to a teacher and smoking are not within the mandate of child protection workers, so what they need to do is insinuate you are subjecting your child to emotional harm by doing these unspeakable things in front of your kid who is scared of you.

Now, if it ever comes down to a time where you have to defend yourself in a legal setting, you will have plenty of proof the allegations were discussed and qualified, and the legal conclusion is, that by them going away is there are no concerns at that time, so they should not be recycling and accumulating crap, which is their stock in trade.

The normal tactic is to accumulate 3 or more "investigative concerns" before taking some sort of intrusive action that will start their funding for involuntary intervention. You can ask the social worker what the stages of least to most instructive action, starting with educational community services, supervision order, kinship placement, then removal (they like to skip over to removal).

Another thing people forget about is making sure your opened file has a lot of positives on it. Parenting wins like listing your kids activities, glowing school reports, proud child pictured beside school and activity awards, good medical and dental history, immunization records, letters of recommendation from friends (that social workers will refuse to question). 

There is a comprehensive risk assessment PDF on the pa-pa.ca website that you can fill out and give to them too. Plug up their files will tons of positive paperwork that will make the negative reports seem like vindictive claims with no evidence.

Lastly, if you lawyer up, and demonstrate in advance you are ready for battle and willing to sue, bluff or not, that can convince them to back off and go fry less troublesome fish.

Without a doubt, an often used and particularly devastating problem during child custody matters are false allegations of child abuse or child sexual abuse. When some malicious parents, driven by hate or personality disorders, acquire a “win child custody at all costs” mentality &ndas... access page ...

Without a doubt, an often used and particularly devastating problem during child custody matters are false allegations of child abuse or child sexual abuse. When some malicious parents, driven by hate or personality disorders, acquire a “win child custody at all costs” mentality – false allegations of abuse are often the result. Those costs aren't just financial. The costs include the loss of a normal life for the targeted parent for eternity. The costs include the loss of childhood for the child or children used as a weapon for just such an assault. 

The impact from false allegations is almost always swift and severe. A devastating weapon it quickly cuts the targeted parent from the household, the life of the false accuser, and the lives of the children during child custody proceedings. Since most law enforcement and family court entities tend to “err on the side of caution” – a mere allegation sets in motion arrests, incarcerations, restraining orders, and more. Parents, usually fathers, are separated from their children for extended periods of time. When they are finally exonerated, that often doesn’t end the maltreatment and suspicion in the form of supervised and brief visitations with children going on for months or longer.

The victim of false allegations in child custody situations frequently suffer:

Job loss, which isn't always restored after vindication
Loss of contact with children
Arrest and incarceration
Loss of home or access to the marital home
Restraining orders
Loss of any future custody of children
The false allegation of child abuse is the single most effective and the swiftest tool to gain control over the custody of the children. Temporary orders have an innate way of turning into permanent orders. This is especially true if the accused has limited resources available to obtain quality legal representation for a protracted legal battle in defense of themselves.

With one very poor decision, the false accuser will efffectively destroy the their spouse’s or ex-partner’s life, their career, and their relationship with the children will forever be negatively altered. Further, the children will have to endure multiple interrogations by authorities and child welfare workers, and in the case of false accusations of sexual abuse, invasive examinations that will impact them psychologically. All of this is done in an effort to win child custody. It’s also very sad.

It is critically important that if things are becoming very contentious between you and your spouse/ex-spouse that you do everything in your power to avoid putting yourself in a position where a false allegation of abuse might take hold. Always maintain your self-control. Be respectful and courteous in your communications with your ex-partner no matter the circumstances. If you are accused, take the accusations seriously. Don’t agree to settle for lesser charges in exchange for little or no jail time. You’re innocent. Regardless of the impact on your future, avoid being labeled a child abuser or child sexual predator with everything you have. Get an attorney and don’t talk to the police without legal representation.

the divorce-related, malicious mother syndrome has been identified in cases in which mothers not only try to alienate their children from their fathers, but are committed to a broadly based campaign to hurt the father directly (Turkat, 1995). The diagnostic criteria for this syndrome are listed i... access page ...

the divorce-related, malicious mother syndrome has been identified in cases in which mothers not only try to alienate their children from their fathers, but are committed to a broadly based campaign to hurt the father directly (Turkat, 1995). The diagnostic criteria for this syndrome are listed in Figure 1.

THE JUDGES JOURNAL, NUMBER 36, p. 17-47, SPRING 1997

MANAGEMENT OF VISITATION INTERFERENCE
Ira Daniel Turkat, Ph.D.

Some examples of the more extreme behavior observed in such individuals include the following: making one's children sleep in a car to prove that their father has bankrupted them; burning down the house of the ex-husband: making false allegations of sexual abuse; manipulating other people to harass the ex-husband: spreading vicious lies about the ex-husband; trying to get the ex-husband fired from his job; and driving an automobile into the ex-husband's living room.

Women with this syndrome interfere chronically with visitation. Though they also engage in serious attempts to alienate the child from the father, they an not always successful. Thus, a full parental alienation syndrome is not required for a diagnosis of divorce-related. malicious mother syndrome.

In addition. these women are skillful liars, highly manipulative, and quite adept at recruiting others to participate in the campaign against the father. As is true of parental alienation syndrome, there is an absence of necessary research on this abnormality.

Figure 1:
Diagnostic Criteria for Divorce-Related, Malicious Mother Syndrome
(Adapted from Turkat, 1995, with permission of the publisher, Plenum Publishing, New York.)

A mother who unjustifiably punishes her divorcing or divorced husband by:
attempting to alienate their mutual child(ren) from the father;
involving others in malicious actions against the father;
engaging in excessive litigation.
A mother who specifically attempts to deny her child(ren):
regular, uninterrupted visitation with the father;
uninhibited telephone access to the father;
paternal participation in the child(ren)'s school life and extracurricular activities.
The mother's behavior is pervasive and includes malicious acts towards the husband, such as:
telling the child(ren) lies about the father;
telling others lies about the father;
acting against the father in ways that violate the law.
The syndrome is not specifically due to another mental disorder, but another disorder may coexist.
Difficulties in the Courtroom.

Individuals with either of these syndromes may be willing and able to lie in court in a fully convincing way. Sometimes, their manipulative skills are so well developed that they are able to influence others to provide false testimony against the victimized parent. They may run circles around opposing counsel. When accused of visitation interference, they often have what appear to be wonderful explanations for their behavior; some may even be accurate. For example: "I offered many times for him to see his daughter but he just doesn't cooperate; every time he comes to pick up Billy, Billy cries and refuses to go: he never follows the schedule, your honor, no matter how hard I try. ..."

What typically is left out of such testimony is the fact that the interfering parent is either lying or has manipulated the child or the situation to give a false impression that he or she is innocent of the charges.

If the interfering parent continues to violate successfully the visitation regulations, over time the victimized parent often becomes so emotionally and financially depleted that the case fades from the court's purview. Unfortunately, outside of the courtroom, the visitation interference continues, often with increased strength.

Source:
http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/turkat97.htm

When two people end a marriage or break up as boyfriend and girlfriend and children are involved, you as a mother may say,"you don't need a man in your life". your children on the other hand certainly need a man in their life. 

Source: 
Nelson L Moody Sr.

When two people end a marriage or break up as boyfriend and girlfriend and children are involved, you as a mother may say,"you don't need a man in your life". your children on the other hand certainly need a man in their life. 

Source: 
Nelson L Moody Sr.

A television show highlighting the flaws of the current system and offering measured resolution ideas will be a winner for the children of such circumstance.

Ideas about mandatory mediation before sole custody applications can be examined. I suggest if two people were to sit with a profes... access page ...

A television show highlighting the flaws of the current system and offering measured resolution ideas will be a winner for the children of such circumstance.

Ideas about mandatory mediation before sole custody applications can be examined. I suggest if two people were to sit with a professional mediator and talk about their ideas of equal access for the children, health and welfare issues, education and religion etc. a realization of whom is seeking the best interests of their child or children would be likely obtained as accusations and allegations are not the way towards resolution however are the manner with vicious Family Law lawyers.

Further topics for a t.v. show could show research on everything custody related since the Divorce Act was written in 1985 I believe. Rates and quantified statistics on fatherless children or children with one natural parent in a step family could be brought to light as such facts need to be presented for the children so we can make improvements.

Lets actually make gender equality a game changer for Family Law and how this country examines child custody situations.

A dedicated t.v. show is a start to correcting the wrongs for our next generation and what better to begin than to have Paulette and Gene (put him out of work in the legal profession), male and female, discuss all relevant issues to fixing the flaws of Family Law.

Video Source:
http://www.rogerstv.com/page.aspx?lid=237&rid=17&gid=108961

Linda J Gottlieb pointed out this article and video file

Why did United Nations UNICEF and the Commission of Human Rights terminated the DECLARATION OF THE RIGHTS OF THE CHILD OF 1959? It was substituted by the present United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child in 1989.

Notice in the Declaration of 1959 copied be... access page ...

Why did United Nations UNICEF and the Commission of Human Rights terminated the DECLARATION OF THE RIGHTS OF THE CHILD OF 1959? It was substituted by the present United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child in 1989.

Notice in the Declaration of 1959 copied below, that it was center around parent and child relationship; that is family, love and inalienable universal rights.

In the present CRC of 1989 parents were blatantly eliminated from the CRC 1989 as such United Nations through the State Party is appropiating (orphaning) children at will to place them in foster care $$$ and adoption $$$

Principle 1
The child shall enjoy all the rights set forth in this Declaration. Every child, without any excep...tion whatsoever, shall be entitled to these rights, without distinction or discrimination on account of race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status, whether of himself or of his family.

Principle 2
The child shall enjoy special protection, and shall be given opportunities and facilities, by law and by other means, to enable him to develop physically, mentally, morally, spiritually and socially in a healthy and normal manner and in conditions of freedom and dignity. In the enactment of laws for this purpose, the best interests of the child shall be the paramount consideration.

Principle 3
The child shall be entitled from his birth to a name and a nationality.

Principle 4
The child shall enjoy the benefits of social security. He shall be entitled to grow and develop in health; to this end, special care and protection shall be provided both to him and to his mother, including adequate pre-natal and post-natal care. The child shall have the right to adequate nutrition, housing, recreation and medical services.

Principle 5
The child who is physically, mentally or socially handicapped shall be given the special treatment, education and care required by his particular condition.

Principle 6
The child, for the full and harmonious development of his personality, needs love and understanding. He shall, wherever possible, grow up in the care and under the responsibility of his parents, and, in any case, in an atmosphere of affection and of moral and material security; a child of tender years shall not, save in exceptional circumstances, be separated from his mother. Society and the public authorities shall have the duty to extend particular care to children without a family and to those without adequate means of support. Payment of State and other assistance towards the maintenance of children of large families is desirable.

Principle 7
The child is entitled to receive education, which shall be free and compulsory, at least in the elementary stages. He shall be given an education which will promote his general culture and enable him, on a basis of equal opportunity, to develop his abilities, his individual judgement, and his sense of moral and social responsibility, and to become a useful member of society.

The best interests of the child shall be the guiding principle of those responsible for his education and guidance; that responsibility lies in the first place with his parents.

The child shall have full opportunity for play and recreation, which should be directed to the same purposes as education; society and the public authorities shall endeavour to promote the enjoyment of this right.

Principle 8
The child shall in all circumstances be among the first to receive protection and relief.

Principle 9
The child shall be protected against all forms of neglect, cruelty and exploitation. He shall not be the subject of traffic, in any form.

The child shall not be admitted to employment before an appropriate minimum age; he shall in no case be caused or permitted to engage in any occupation or employment which would prejudice his health or education, or interfere with his physical, mental or moral development.

Principle 10
The child shall be protected from practices which may foster racial, religious and any other form of discrimination. He shall be brought up in a spirit of understanding, tolerance, friendship among peoples, peace and universal brotherhood, and in full consciousness that his energy and talents should be devoted to the service of his fellow men

Kathleen M. Reay, Ph.D., D.A.A.E.T.S.,R.C.C., a Diplomate of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress is an experienced licensed psychotherapist, researcher, author of a 2011 book called "Toxic Divorce: A Workbook for Alienated Parents", public speaker, and litigation-related con... access page ...

Kathleen M. Reay, Ph.D., D.A.A.E.T.S.,R.C.C., a Diplomate of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress is an experienced licensed psychotherapist, researcher, author of a 2011 book called "Toxic Divorce: A Workbook for Alienated Parents", public speaker, and litigation-related consultant to parents, attorneys and the courts as an expert on parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome.

In this video, Dr. Reay is asked what some common features are of PA and PAS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0ZvJhddX48#

The following article is a collaboration between Linda Gottlieb and Joan T Kloth Zanard

Are You a Victim of Parental Alienation?

Greg Downing asks, “Did you grow up with one parent? Do you know a child who has been restricted from a parent aunt or grandparent, without just r... access page ...

The following article is a collaboration between Linda Gottlieb and Joan T Kloth Zanard

Are You a Victim of Parental Alienation?

Greg Downing asks, “Did you grow up with one parent? Do you know a child who has been restricted from a parent aunt or grandparent, without just reason?” If you answered yes to Greg’s question then you are now talking about a form of psychological abuse called PAS orParental Alienation or you could call it Parentectomy.

Back in the late 1930’s early 40’s, there was a doctor, Dr. Murray Peshkin, who worked primarily with Asthma patients and in particular children. What he noticed was that when he removed the parents from the situation of a child with severe asthma the child’s symptoms subsided and improved. He aptly called this Parentectomy. Today, we would say, why are you removing the parents instead of getting the entire family counseling to help deal with the stress factors?

Little did Dr. Peshkin know, but 40 years later Dr. Richard Gardner would give it another name, that ofParental Alienation Syndrome. Only Gardner’s case, it was not a doctor doing the removal of the parents, but a parent who was doing the amputation of the children from the other parent’s life. This is the Ultimate form of Parentectomy!

No one is exactly sure what percentage of divorces or even families are suffering from this form of child abuse. What they do know is, because the courts are not doing anything and counselors/therapistsare not properly trained the problem is growing exponentially. Especially when you factor in that children of this form of abuse tend to perpetrate it upon their offspring, making it a multi-generational process.

Add into this mess the fact that the alienating parent files false allegations of abuse, delaying the courts, agencies and counselors ability to proceed in a timely manner, and this situation spirals out of control.

There are hundreds of signs and symptoms of Parental Alienation, but the most obvious are these:

Does Either Parent?

• Use their child as a spy?
• Have the child take sides?
• Put their child in the middle?
• Berate or demean the other parent?
• Force their child to choose a parent?
• Allow the child to make adult decisions?
• Twist the other parent's good intentions?
• Bribe their child with gifts or lack of rules?
• Use their child as a witness in Family Court?
• Use violent outburst to intimidate their child?
• Emotionally blackmail their child to feel guilty?
• Not allow child to display affection towards you?
• Withhold attention and affection to elicit loyalty?
• Try to destroy a loving relationship with a child?

One Way To Deal With Parental Alienation:

In revealing the entire traumatic sagas of several of the alienated parents whom I wrote about in my book, I made a video recording of their interviews, and I provided the video of the interview to those parents who requested it.

At some point, these parents are anticipating the opportunity to view the video with their alienated children. We all pray and hope that it will not be necessary to leave the video in their will for their children to view; but regrettably, many are resigned to this being the only possible positive outcome.

Should You Make Your Own Video?

The suggestion to make a video is a very personal and painful decision, and there is no right decision to do so or not. But I offer it as one option to free your children from the pathological triangle better known as the parental alienation.

You do not need a therapist to ask you the following questions. Any trusted friend will do. The following are the questions I asked of the parents I interviewed for my book, and they should be adapted to your unique situation. Here goes:

Tell me how you first met your child's other parent.

Tell me about how the relationship developed.

What qualities did this person have that made you attracted to them? (This is an important question because it indicates to your child that you can be objective. I assume that if there was an initial attraction, there must have been some good reasons for it.)

Tell me about the decision to become a family.

Tell me what the pregnancy was like for you and the other parent.

Tell me about the birth of your child.

What were you feeling and thinking?

How did you adjust to taking on the responsibility for another human life?

What did it mean to you to be a parent?

Tell me about how you were involved in parenting your child?

Did the other parent support your involvement as a parent?

Did you have different parenting styles and if so, how were they resolved?

Describe the co-parenting relationship.

Describe some positive memories and interactions you had with your child.

Discuss your feelings about these interactions.

Discuss any significant trauma that occurred in the family's development that affected your relationship with the child.

Talk about any difficulties you had with your child and any interactions with your child that have left you with strong memories one way or the other.

Tell me about how you and your child's other parent grew apart? (Be careful how this is worded because you do not want to criticize the other parent to your child. Nevertheless, you should correct any lies, misperceptions, and fallacies with which you were slandered. Correct any misinformation about you but avoid as much as possible casting aspersions on the other parent.
If this will be seen by your adult children, you can reveal a bit more about the transgressions of the of the parent if it is necessary to set the record straight about you. If you believe that you could have handled the separation from the other parent in a better manner, apologize for your mistakes. If you did make mistakes as we all dom, apologize. Your child will appreciate your objectivity but emphasize that when relationships fail, it is always 50-50. Request that your child also keep an open mind about the family’s history.

Once you and your former partner separated, what events occurred that interfered with your relationship with your child?

What efforts did you make to maintain a relationship with your child?

What role did all the professionals who intervened in your child custody case play in the outcome of the legal situation and your rights to have a relationship with your child.

Describe the cost to you in time, money, and energy in pursuing a relationship with your child.

Describe any and all miscarriages of justices you were subjected to and any false cases of child abuse and domestic violence that were lodged against you.

Is there anything you would have done differently had you had the opportunity to do over? Many alienated fathers expressed to me that they had decided not to file legitimate abandonment and or domestic violence charges against the mother so as not to hurt their child by seeing their mother sent to jail. In the end, these mothers used the system to file fallacious allegations against them, and the alienation resulted and/or was deepened.

Describe how the mental health, child protection, law enforcement, and judicial system perpetuated the alienation and interfered with your relationship with your child.

If you were to have the ear of the professional who intervene in child custody, including the lawyer for the child and the judge, what recommendations would you make to change how we adjudicate child custody?

What was your biggest regret during this entire trauma?

What are the fears and concerns that you have for your alienated child?

What has the loss of your child meant to you?

How has the loss of your child changed your life?

Do you know how your child is doing, how and what is happening in their lives?

How has it affected you that you are not participating in these events with your child?

Do not hold back your tears as your children should know how painful this experience has been for you.

We are sure that there are many more questions that could be asked which would convey to your child what this ordeal has been like. In fact, we would welcome anyone to make additional suggestions as to what could be asked. Please email them to lmftATversion.net or to PAS InterventionATaol.com If you feel you are a victim of parental alienation or know someone who is, we highly recommend you read the following two books listed by author alphabetically

Linda Gottlieb's The Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Family Therapy and Collaborative Systems Approach to Amelioration and visit her site, http://www.EndParentalAlienation.com.

Additionally, it is recommended that you join one of the FREE International Online Support groups sponsored by PAS at www. PAS-Intervention.com, then click on the link for FREE Online Support Groups.

Source:
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/childrenanddivorce/a/Understanding-And-Dealing-With-Parental-Alienation.htm

There are many ways and methods angry or bitter parents use to create a division between a child or children and their other parent. Hostile Aggressive Parenting is exhibited in such a situation where one parent hopes to alienate children from the other parent for a variety of reasons. This artic... access page ...

There are many ways and methods angry or bitter parents use to create a division between a child or children and their other parent. Hostile Aggressive Parenting is exhibited in such a situation where one parent hopes to alienate children from the other parent for a variety of reasons. This article is written to help explain Hostile Aggressive Parenting and what fathers can do to avoid it in their own parenting and to address it if they are the victim.

Definition:

Siutaitons where Hostile Aggressive Parenting can happen:

Victims of Hostile Aggressive Parenting:

The likelihood of Hostile Aggressive Parenting:

Manifestations of Hostile Aggressive Parenting:

Impact of Hostile Aggressive Parenting on children:

Hostile Aggressive Parenting versus Parental Alienation Syndrome:

How a father can avoid his own Hostile Aggressive Parenting behavior:

What can a father do if he is the target of Hostile Aggressive Parenting?: